In Love : : a Memoir of Love and Loss

Locations
Call Number: 921 Bloom, Amy, Adult Book / Nonfiction / Biography / Literary / Bloom, Amy
On Shelf At: Downtown Library, Traverwood Branch, Westgate Branch

Location & Checkout Length	Call Number	Checkout Length	Item Status
Downtown 2nd Floor 4-week checkout	921 Bloom, Amy	4-week checkout	On Shelf
Downtown 2nd Floor 4-week checkout	921 Bloom, Amy	4-week checkout	On Shelf
Traverwood Adult Books 4-week checkout	Adult Book / Nonfiction / Biography / Literary / Bloom, Amy	4-week checkout	On Shelf
Westgate Adult Books 4-week checkout	Adult Book / Nonfiction / Biography / Literary / Bloom, Amy	4-week checkout	On Shelf
Malletts Adult Books 4-week checkout	Adult Book / Nonfiction / Biography / Literary / Bloom, Amy	4-week checkout	Due 05-23-2024
Pittsfield Adult Books 4-week checkout	Adult Book / Nonfiction / Biography / Literary / Bloom, Amy	4-week checkout	Due 04-23-2024

"Amy and Brian's world was changed forever with his diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer's. Forced to confront the daily frustrations and realities of the disease and its impact on their lives and marriage, Brian resolved not to let it dictate his life and instead asked himself: What makes life meaningful, and how do I want to live the rest of mine? His decision led them to learn about Dignitas and to fly to Zürich for a peaceful ending of Brian's life. In Love is the illuminating story of a marriage, of the gradual awareness that something was deeply wrong, and of a disease's effect on a man, a woman, a family. What were the signs that Brian and Amy brushed aside, and how did they cope when they could no longer ignore the truth as confirmed by an MRI? Why, in retrospect, did Brian decide to retire from his architecture practice earlier than he had planned? Bloom goes on to recount their search for a dignified and kind solution to the pain of Brian's life, and their discovery of Dignitas in Zurich, where the choice for a dignified end of life can be realized. In this moving memoir, Bloom also writes of their life together before Alzheimer's, and of a love that runs so deep that they were willing to work to find a courageous way to part"-- Provided by publisher.

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COMMUNITY REVIEWS

Honest and Moving submitted by cdunlop on March 17, 2023, 12:44pm "Please write about this."
--Brian Ameche

Socrates reportedly claimed that "the unexamined life is not worth living". But when is an examined life not worth living?

When Brian Ameche received his diagnosis of Alzheimer's, it didn't take him long to decide what to do: End his life rather than suffer the indignities of his disease ("I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees."). But this was not to be a do-it-yourself project; he wanted professional assistance. However, "right-to-die" states impose stringent requirements on physician-assisted suicide, ranging from residency requirements to certification that one's remaining life expectancy is six months or less. Not meeting those criteria, Brian asked his wife, Amy Bloom, to find a solution. She agreed, and after some investigation, she discovered Dignitas, a nonprofit organization based in Zurich, Switzerland, whose motto is "To live with dignity; to die with dignity". Dignitas does not take its mission lightly; the organization imposes its own requirements, including results from a neurological examination, and two in-person interviews by the organization's own medical staff once the client makes it to Zurich. Brian met all of the conditions and, despite having been given multiple opportunities to change his mind even at the last minute, died by ingesting a prepared barbiturate in a Dignitas facility on January 30, 2020. Dignitas has provided "accompanied deaths" to some 3,000 people. The procedure cost Ameche and Bloom about $10,000.

Amy and Brian were clearly a devoted couple, which raises the obvious question of how far a marital commitment extends when one spouse requests assistance from the other for a procedure that will terminate his own life. Bloom didn't spend a lot of time dithering over that issue, and once she assented, she was pretty much unwavering in following through.

Although Bloom inevitably describes Brian's final moments, her primary focus is on the before and after. She describes how they met, the activities they enjoyed, the people they knew, and her efforts to cope with an excruciatingly difficult and evolving situation. She and her husband were very attractive and talented people, but there's enough of a sense of ordinariness about them, that they could be just about anybody; hence, the universality of their circumstances. This is a slender volume, but it's an honest account that seems to say all that needs to be said.

Wrenching Choice submitted by cdeucher on July 5, 2023, 8:25am This is a story of a marriage and a decision. This couple is happily married - a third marriage for her, the second for him. She's a writer, a therapist, he's a retired architect, there are children and grandchildren, in all a sweet rather ordinary life. Then comes the diagnosis of Alzheimers and Brian's decision that he wants to die rather than live with this diagnosis. How they navigate this is the heart of this slim volume. It is a close look at our health care system as they search for a way to meet this desire. Eventually they need to travel to Switzerland to accomplish Brian's death. It is an honest and heartbreaking account.

Beautifully written submitted by jhaberich on July 6, 2023, 12:38pm This is a very well written account of the writer's husband diagnosis of Alzheimer's and the impact upon their lives. While certainly a very sad occurrence, the writer's decision to structure the book by alternating chapters between current day and their past together left me appreciating their relationship and the impact of the diagnosis while not ending up in a puddle of tears. This is definitely worth reading!