Jerry meets Miss Rhode Island, who is competing in the Miss America pageant and consequently must be chaperoned on her date with Jerry; Kramer fills the role and quickly becomes her personal coach. Elaine seeks to follow in the footsteps of Jackie Kennedy Onassis in securing a position with Doubleday, but she soon finds her job as personal assistant to an executive to be unfulfilling. George replaces polyester with cotton as the material for the Yankees' uniforms, with alarming results.
"The Big Salad"
Elaine must find a special mechanical pencil for her new boss and soon finds herself dealing with the romantic advances of a stationary store clerk. George purchases a "big salad" for Elaine, but his girlfriend appears to take credit for the purchase. Jerry learns that his current girlfriend formerly dated Newman, who ended the relationship. Kramer plays golf with an ex-Major League Baseballer, whose rules violations Kramer notes, giving rise to a fight. The man is later suspected in the murder of a dry cleaner, and Kramer helps the man flee in a white Ford Bronco in a situation similar to that of O.J. Simpson.
"The Pledge Drive"
Elaine's boss, Justin Pitt, eats a Snickers bar with a knife and fork, starting a trend that seems to sweep the city. Jerry and Elaine deal with a couple who sound altogether similar on the phone. Jerry cashes checks long since written by his grandmother, causing her account to become overdrawn. Jerry works on a public television fundraiser and convinces George to bring Yankee Danny Tartabull.
"The Chinese Woman"
Jerry and Elaine see George's father with a man in a cape but don't say hello. Jerry discovers a Chinese woman, Donna Chang on George's phone line after the wires get crossed and he gets a date with her but learns she isn't Chinese. Kramer goes to a fertility clinic. Elaine ruins her friend Noreen's latest romance with a long talker. George's life is made miserable when his parents separate.
Elaine begins to date the guy who delivers Jerry's new couch. Kramer plans to start a pizza business with Poppie. George joins a book club, but tries to rent the movie. Jerry and Elaine's discussion of the abortion issue causes trouble for Poppie, Elaine's relationship & Jerry's new couch. George spends the evening with the family that has rented the film, with less than spectacular results.
Jerry dates a Romanian Olympic gymnast. Jerry and Kramer find out about one of George's bathroom habits. Kramer passes a kidney stone. George is caught eating out of the trash. Mr. Pitt becomes obsessed with finding the image in a 3-D painting.
Jerry's girlfriend makes him pretend they are married so that she can get a dry-cleaning discount; the pretence leads to tensions in their relationship. Kramer also takes advantage of the discount, but can't sleep without his duvet. Meanwhile, at the health club George is caught urinating in the shower by a man whom Elaine would like to date. Her dilemma: does she side with George or with the prospective boyfriend?
"The Raincoats (Part 1)"
Jerry's parents visit from Florida and Morty and Kramer go into business together selling belt-less raincoats. Elaine dates a "close-talker" who takes to Jerry's parents a little too well for her liking. George tries to sell his father's old vacation clothes and is talked into joining a Bigger Brother program. Jerry is desperate for time alone with his girlfriend, Rachel, but his parents make things difficult.
"The Raincoats (Part 2)"
Newman dobs Jerry in to his parents for making out with Rachel during Schindler's List. Morty and Kramer's raincoats scheme goes awry when Rudy, the owner of the used clothes store, refuses to buy them. George tries to get his father's clothes back so he and his mother will go on vacation.
George is dating a woman who has a kid. While at his birthday party, George smells smoke and knocks all the women and children out of the way to get out of the fire. Elaine is not happy about having to work on Kramer's coffee table book and is passed over for a promotion when Toby, Kramer's publisher, is injured and is promoted out of pity. Toby heckles Jerry during one of his sets, which causes problems between Jerry and Kramer.
The four friends spend a weekend in the Hamptons visiting a couple and their phenomenally ugly baby. George's girlfriend sunbathes topless and he is the only one to miss the spectacle. Jerry's girlfriend surprises George as he is getting changed after swimming in cold water; his 'shrinkage' causes her some amusement. Meanwhile, Elaine meets a doctor who seems to find everything 'breathtaking', and Kramer brings home a suspiciously large lobster catch.
George, egged on by Jerry, decides that since his instincts are all wrong he will do the opposite of what they tell him; sure enough, he soon finds himself with a beautiful girlfriend and a great job. Meanwhile, everything starts to go wrong for Elaine. Jerry breaks even at everything, and Kramer seems bound for literary success with his coffee table book about coffee tables.
George's girlfriend breaks up with him because he is not Latvian Orthodox. George tries to get her back by joining the religion. Meanwhile, Kramer discovers that he has "kavorka", a Latvian term for the lure of the animal, only in this case he attracts women to him - which nearly gets him into trouble when a nun is attracted to him.
Elaine gets upset with Jerry's girlfriend (without knowing that she is his girlfriend) when they fight over a piece of toilet paper. Elaine, however, swears she could identify her voice anywhere. Elaine's boyfriend shares a bond with George and Kramer, which eventually ends in disaster when George and Kramer accidentally let go of his rope while rock climbing. Kramer is convinced that the voice of Jerry's new girlfriend resembles 'Erika', a voice on a phone sex line that he has been calling. The woman is indeed revealed to be Jerry's girlfriend. Elaine recognizes her voice and follows her to the bathroom to take away her toilet paper.
"The Dinner Party"
Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer are invited to a dinner party, but they encounter problems along the way. Elaine and Jerry are stuck in a bakery trying to get the perfect cake; George and Kramer encounter problems at a liquor store and the car fails to start. In the end, they hand over the cake and the liquor to the party, but leave immediately after they hand them over.
"The Marine Biologist"
Jerry meets up an old friend from college and lies that George works as a marine biologist. Kramer goes to the beach to play golf, which he later regrets when he only hit one ball. George gets a date with Diane on the beach where they discuss what marine biologists do. Elaine has a calamitous encounter with a famous Russian writer. In the middle of George's date with Diane's, people gather around a dying whale at the beach; George, supposedly being a marine biologist, is asked to save the whale. George dramatically retells his struggle with the whale and reveals what had been causing the whale pain.
Jerry is upset when his girlfriend refuses to share a piece of pie with him. Kramer sees a mannequin in a department store which looks just like Elaine, while George is concerned that an expensive suit that he has bought makes a "swoosh" when he moves.
Jerry learns from his friend Al Netche that another friend, Fulton, is in the hospital and "could use a good laugh". He becomes so nervous to do a good job, he ends up bombing and is afraid that he cause Fulton's condition to worsen. He tries again with new stand-up material, at which Fulton can't stop laughing, and ends up dying from it. George plans to break up with his girlfriend because they have nothing to talk about. However, Al told his girlfriend that George couldn't commit and would hurt her, so George keeps the relationship going to spite Al. Jerry sets up Elaine with his friend Phil Titola; they have a great time, until Phil takes "it" out. Kramer and his "little person" friend Mickey get jobs as stand-ins for All My Children, and Kramer suggests that Mickey put lifts in his shoes to keep up with a growing eight-year-old. His "heightening" is found out, and he is ostracized by other "little person" actors.
Jerry goes to a tennis tournament and start dating a deaf lineswoman who can read lips. George spys on his ex-girlfriend to find out why they broke up. They go to a party, all five of them; before they go Jerry advises George to be careful with her because when he said "six is good", she misread it as "sex is good". Kramer knows sign language, and translates for her. She misreads another word wrong (sleep to sweep), which changed the tone of the whole conversation the ex and a party guest had, causing George to have problems. Elaine pretends she can't hear to avoid talking to annoying limousine driver.
"The Non-Fat Yogurt"
Jerry, Elaine and George are obsessed with a non-fat yogurt, but they begin to think it isn't non-fat at all when the three of them gain weight. They send a sample to a lab to see if is really non-fat. George has a rivalry with Lloyd Braun, the advisor to the up-for-reelection mayor David Dinkins, and to make it even worse Elaine goes out with him. Elaine costs Dinkins the election by proposing that everyone wears name tags. The non-fat yogurt is revealed to have fat. Kramer's sexual encounter with a chemist causes a blood test being done on mayoral candidate Rudy Giuliani's blood to show a false result. Jerry accidentally says the word fuck in front of a kid that can't stop repeating that word, in good or bad situations. He tells the kid to stop saying it, but he said it again to him. In the end he ruined his dad's business and the kid says it to him.
Jerry gets tired of his old barber and tries to replace him. However, he panics and decides to take a final haircut with his old barber, who gives him a bad haircut that George thinks makes him look like a five-year-old. Jerry decides that he will fix his hair with the new barber. Jerry's old barber becomes suspicious and bribes Newman to confirm his hunch. George is afraid that he will not get his job when his boss couldn't repeat the final words he was going to say. He decides to hide from his boss and secretly start working there, until he is ratted out by one of his co-workers.
Jerry starts dating a masseuse who refuses to give him a massage, even though she has given one to Kramer. George is worried that Jerry's girlfriend does not like him. Jerry tries to convince her to give him a massage, but he fails. They eventually break up.
"The Cigar Store Indian"
Jerry gives Elaine a cigar store Indian, thus offending a Native American woman in whom he is interested. He tries to make peace with her, but Kramer ruins the moment when he talks about the cigar store Indian. She eventually gives him another chance, and this time Jerry is more careful than he was before. The evening ends in disaster when he accidentally says something bad about Native Americans; they break up.
George confides in Jerry about his lack of confidence performing in bed. Elaine tells Jerry that she faked all her orgasms when they were a couple; devastated, he begs her for another chance. Kramer gets banned from his favorite fruit shop and persuades Jerry to go in and buy for him, but the owner sees through the scheme. George ends up buying Kramer's mangoes and discovers a cure for his impotence.
"The Puffy Shirt"
George runs out of money and is forced to move back in with his parents. Jerry and Elaine meet Kramer's new girlfriend, a clothes designer who speaks so quietly no one can hear her. Jerry later finds out that during their conversation she had asked him to wear her hideous new 'puffy shirt' for a charity appearance he is due to make on "The Today Show" -- worse, without realising it he had said yes to her. Meanwhile, George stumbles into a lucrative new career hand modeling.
George's glasses are missing, so he has to buy a new pair. Kramer says he know a place where he gets 30% discount if he just says his name. George goes to the place, and buys the glasses, but doesn't get the discount. Kramer soon forces the clerk, who Kramer had helped to stop eating so much sweets, to give George the discount by waving a candy bar in his face. In the same place, Elaine is bitten by a dog and becomes afraid of them. George believes he saw Jerry's girlfriend kissing another man, although he didn't have glasses. Jerry goes to any means necessary to find out the truth. Elaine begins having some side effects from the dog bite. Kramer buys Jerry a new air conditioner, which falls from Jerry's window onto the dog that bit Elaine.
"The Sniffing Accountant"
George's father gets him an interview as a brassiere salesman. Evidence points to Jerry's accountant being a cocaine user. Jerry, Kramer and Newman set up a sting to find out the truth. Elaine's new boyfriend is perfect except for his unwillingness to use exclamation points.
"The Bris" Kramer claims to have seen a Pig Man in one of the rooms. Jerry and Elaine are chosen as godparents to their friends' child, and they must attend the bris. Kramer says that being godparents is a bad thing and warns them of not being godparents. Elaine hires an insane mohel for the ceremony, in which Jerry gets injured and has to be taken to the hospital. While in the hospital, George confronts the hospital's manager about a man who jumped to his death and landed on his car, and she angrily rejects him. Kramer takes the Pig Man away from the hospital and learns he is actually a mentally challenged man who steals George's car. In the end, Jerry and Elaine are no longer godparents of the baby, instead the parents chose Kramer to be the godfather.