"Upun what?"

The above comment was Samuel Johnson's response to a request for a pun. If you share Dr. Johnson's love for punning, and you happen to be in Austin, Texas today, you can join the O.Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championship. If you can't make it, you can still enjoy the art of the twisted word at their punster site. The Library also has a great collection of joke books including puns for all ages. Bennet Cerf's Treasury of Atrocious Puns is a classic. Following are a few gems that hopefully will make you groan with either delight or disgust:

"Mick Jagger has a filter on his Facebook account that protects him
from receiving any misinformation in updates from his friends.
Apparently he can't get no status fiction." by Gary Hallock

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still stay stationary.


What offal jokes. These guys really do their wurst, don't they?

Yes. They work their buns off to be as bad as possible.

At yeast they'll earn some dough for their effort. If they make a big enough bank roll, they'll have proofed their worth by rising to the top.

I used to say "That's two thirds of a pun...P.U.!" But who knows what P.U. means anymore?