Part 1

"My mom is here," My best friend, Loralei, states as she stands from my bed. She tells me she has a really bad headache.
"I hope you feel better soon." I stand up and hug her.
"Thanks, man” she smiles and heads toward my door. "I uhh..." she rests her hand on the doorknob for a moment. "Never mind." she opens up the door and bolts down the stairs.
"Wait! Don't say never mind to me!" I run after her. "What were you gonna say?"

"Nothing, it's not important." she slipped into her blue high-top Vans.
"Yes it is. Tell me now!" I demand.

She looks up at me, her golden brown eyes sparkling. She opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted by the horn of her mother’s car. “I’ll tell you later.”

I sigh,”Okay.”

“I love you.” she says.

I’m surprised to hear those words. She doesn’t usually express her feelings for people so easily.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Wow. I tell you I love you and you ask if I’m okay? What the hell?” she gets snobby.

“No, sorry. I love you too.”

She sighs. “Alright bye.”

“See ya.” I respond and watch her walk out the door, closing it behind her.

As I head back to my room my twin brother, Aric comes up from the basement and follows me.

“Violet, you’ve gotta look at this picture that River sent me.” he laughs.

River is Aric’s best friend. He has a massive crush on me.

“Not right now, man. I’m tired.” I lay down on my hot pink comforter.

“Come on, just look at it.” he begs.

“Okay.” I say.

He hands me his gold iPhone5 and I see Miley Cyrus with no teeth. I roll my eyes and begin scrolling through his pictures. Mostly stupid selfies. I come across something that made me stop, though. It was words, like a small poem.

“What’s more deadly?” I begin to read out loud. “A gun or a thought.” I look up at him. “A gun gives you the opportunity but a thought pulls the trigger.”

“Give me my phone.” he demands.

I scroll over once more and see a picture of razor blades, a lighter, and cigarettes - and at the bottom it says: “Life.”

“Aric?” I look at him again.

“That’s nothing, give me my phone.” He reaches for it, but I move in the opposite direction so he can’t reach it.

I scroll over once more and see a picture of his arm...and there are cuts.

I look away and lock his phone before handing it to him. He shuts my door and sits down next to me.

“Don’t tell dad. Or mom. Don’t tell anybody.” he says.

“To hell I’m not telling anybody.” I say. “Show me.”

“No.” he says. “Why would you want to see?”

“Because I need to know how bad it is.” I say.

“No.” he stands up.

“Show me or I’m telling.” I say.

He sits back down.”So if I show you, you won’t tell?”

“Maybe.”

He sighs and sits in silence for a moment before slowly rolling his sleeves up and showing me all his scars. There were so many. In all directions. My eyes begin to water. “This is my fault.” I whisper.

“No it’s not, Violet. It’s my choice.” he says.

“Get out of my room.” I say.

“Violet-”

“Get out!” I yell.

He leaves without another word.

I slam my door shut and scream into my pillow until I fall asleep.

 

My eyes flutter open. I slowly begin to remember what happened.

I pick up my iPhone5c and click the button on top. My background is a drawing of an arm with a ribbon around it saying ‘and if you want to cut yourself remember that I love you.’ River set it for me when he found out I cut. He’s so sweet.

The time is 3:16 A.M. on April 12.

A voice message pops up. It’s from Loralei. That’s weird, I didn’t see a missed call from her or even hear the phone ring. I slide my finger across the smooth screen and type in my passcode: 3 1 8 2

The voice messages automatically pop up. I click play and speaker and her voice begins to fill my ears.

Hello? Are you there? Listening?” she sounds slightly intoxicated. “I'm just trying to get in touch man. I've been so fucking, so fucking down lately. Like, I don't know what's happening. I'm just so tired all the time. Trying to sleep. I just...I just lay there quiet. Can't speak ‘cause everyone around me is passed out. My fucking mind's raging. Uh, hello? I don't even know why I called. I think it...I think it might be time for me to leave. Just call it quits. I'm sick of this. It's the same fucking day, every day.” she pauses for a bit. “I think I sleep, I can't be sure though. It's all the same now. Drink, drink, drink again. I'm tired man. I think it...you don't want to hear this. I'm a mess. I'm sorry man. I just don't know who to turn to. No one really hears me, you know? I speak...at least I think I speak, but no one hears me. I've said enough. Hello? Hello? I shouldn't have called...

“No...” I whisper as I click the home button and touch the calling icon and dial her number. I put her on speaker once she answers.

“Violet...” she whines.

“Loralei!” I exclaim. “I’m coming to get you.”

“No...Violet. My parents are sleeping.” she sniffles. She sounds more intoxicated than before.

“No, I’m coming to get you right now. You need me!” I leave my room and go into my parents’ room. “Mom! Dad! We need to go get Loralei now!!”

“I love you, man.” Loralei speaks once more. “Goodbye.”

My phone goes silent.

“No!” I exclaim and try to call her back but she doesn’t answer.

“Violet, what’s wrong?” My mom sits up.

“We need to go get Loralei right now! I think she’s going to kill herself!” I yell.

“Calm down!” my dad rolls out of bed and puts a shirt on.

My tears are running black as coal. I run downstairs and see Aric sleeping on the couch instead of the basement. It’s my fault he cuts himself. I exposed him to it.

My dad comes downstairs not  far behind me.”Get your shoes on.”

I slip into my black vans and run out the door, hopping into our blue minivan and buckling my seat belt.

Dad gets in next to me and does the same before starting the car and pulling off.

It took us 15 minutes of silent worry before we arrived at Loralei’s home. I jumped out of the van as soon as it stopped and busted into her house after running up to the door.

“Loralei?!” I exclaimed. I got no response. “Loralei?!” I yelled again. Still nothing.

I ran upstairs to her room. I opened the door slowly in fear of what I may see.

She wasn’t there. Instead I found a small envelope on her bed. I picked it up and opened it. Inside was a note and three razor blades. I put them in my pocket and ran back downstairs to the kitchen. She wasn’t there either.

Where could she be? I thought to myself. Then I got an idea. The garage.

Tears continue to run down my face as I run through the kitchen to the garage door. It’s unlocked...

I open the door slowly and scream when I see her just swinging by her neck there in the softly fading light. Her chest has ceased its movements.

Dad runs up behind me just in time to catch me as my legs turn to jello. I turn into a ball and cry into his chest. “NO!” I scream. “THIS IS MY FAULT!”

He rocks me back and forth and tries to comfort me. “No it’s not, Violet. It’s not your fault, I promise.”

After a while I bring myself together and stand up. Dad is on the phone with a 911 operatorand Loralei’s drunk parents are still upstairs sleeping.

Dad steps away from the door, leaving me alone with her. I walk toward her and touch her wrist. Her young blood has run so cold. There was a snapping noise and her body fell to the floor. I screamed once more as she lay there still. I knelt down next to her and touch her forehead. “I love you so much, Loralei, please wake up.”

I wipe away my tears and pull her note out. I began to read it out loud.

 

I’ll never know what lead me down that path. What made me lose my grasp. I’ve lived behind a mask for so long, so few know who I am.

I’m sorry, Violet. You were the only one there. The only one who cared. You were the greatest

friend I ever had. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Just hold me in your heart.

Please don’t follow my footsteps, cherish all you have left.

So if I hurt you, if I let you down...just remember we were close, we were down. And there are far too many reasons for you to stay here on this earth.

I just...have nothing else to say.

I love you and goodbye.

-Loralei

Part 2

That was six months ago today. Her parents have moved away. I haven’t heard from them since. Aric’s cutting has gotten worse. He’s now been hospitalized three times.

She would have been 15 four days after me and Aric. Our birthday is September 11th and Loralei’s was September 15th. I didn’t celebrate my birthday this year. It’s just that...nothing feels right without her. Like, I don’t even want to be happy without her to be happy with.

 

I pulled my notebook out from under my pillow and opened it to the page with my pen. I began to write.

 

Loralei,

Have you looked up lately and seen the cold lonely skies? And looked into the mirror but seen my black lonely eyes?

I need someone to take my hand, it feels like I can’t breathe.

I just wish that you spoke up and held out your hand because you know I was there, man. You know that I cared.

Just know that I know you went through the same shit even if you were too fucking proud to admit.

And now that you’re gone I feel I’m to blame.

I WANTED TO HEAR IT, I WANTED TO KNOW!

I’ve been grieving so much with each passing day. But I’m angry and hurt and I hate you all the same.

I know you hated life even more with each breath. I know now that you did not have any fight left.

I know you were grieving with each passing day. And I know most of all you did not want to stay.

I love you.

-Violet

 

I sighed, closed my notebook and slid it back under my pillow along with my pen.

I clicked my lamp off and rolled over to sleep.

 

I gently glide the razor across my left wrist.

“Stop that.” she whispers as she places her hand on my shoulder.

I close my eyes. “But it’s all I have left since you went away.” Tears run down my cheeks. Trailing to the tip of my nose. Falling to my hands. “I want to see you again.”

“No, sweetie. Not this way.” she turns me around but I keep my head down. “I hate to see you like this.”

“I miss you.” I cry.

“I miss you too” she says.”There’s no one there on the other side. There’s nothing more than what I had.”

I look up at her. Those golden brown eyes sparkling just the way they used to.

“I just know that I would have been better off if I had stayed, spoken to a friend. Let my heart keep on beating and not given it all up.”

I sniffle. “I wanna come with you so bad.”

“But Violet, are you ready to make this one breath your last? Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave? Because I was just hoping that someone would grieve.” she says.

“I just don’t know anymore.” I say.

“There’s no memories here.” she hugs me. “Just the regrets of the dead.”

 

Part 3

“Violet, wake up.” I hear Aric.

“No.” I groan.

“Come on, fuckass!” I hear another voice.

I open my eyes and see River standing next to Aric.

River chuckles a bit and flips his beautiful dark brown hair. “Wake up. We’re going to go dye Aric’s hair.” He reaches over and pets my brother’s hair.

“What color?” I sit up.

“Blue.” River bites his lip ring. He used to have snake bites, but he took the left one out so his mom would let him get a septum piercing. (Which he has flipped up right now.)

“Awe. You’re going to be an adorable little scene queen.” I smirk.

“Shut-up. I’m not scene.” Aric chuckles.

“Sure.” River and I say in unison.

Aric rolls his eyes. “Are you helping or no?”

“I’ll watch.” I say.

“Alright. We’ll be in the basement.” Aric says.

“Okay.” I respond as they exit my room. I stand and stretch before pulling a black tank top and blue skinny jeans out of my closet and putting them on. I throw my pajamas on the floor of my closet and brush my long blonde hair before leaving my room. I really need to dye it. My black roots are starting to show. I head down the stairs and to my right, down the hallway to the first door on my right. This leads to the basement, which Aric has taken over since our house only has two bedrooms. I open the door and head down the stairs directly in front of me.

“Look who finally decided to show up.” River chuckles.

“It only took me like five minutes to get down here. I had to get dressed and brush my two-foot-long hair.” I laugh.

River has purple hospital gloves on and a bowl of blue hair dye. He’s applying it to Aric’s hair not so very neatly.

“Dude, there’s like blue spots on the floor.” I say.

“We’ll get those up in a minute.” Aric says.

“They’re most likely stains already but okay.” I say.

“Oops.” River continues adding dye to Aric’s hair. After about ten more minutes he’s done.

“You want to add some blue to that long, pretty blonde stuff?” River asks.

“Ooo! You should do the tips!” Aric smiles.

“Or, consider this, how about, we don’t do that.” I laugh.

“Come on. It’ll be cute as hell!” River says.

“Hmmm...I guess.” I sit down backwards in the chair Aric was in and look at River. “Will you assist me?”

“Sure thing.” he says.”Alright pull your hair forward.”

I do so and he begins adding blue to my tips.

It took about five minutes.

“How long do I leave it in?” I ask.

“An hour just to make sure it stays.” River says.

“Okay,” I stand up and crack my back “I’m going to go chill in my room. Let me know when an hour is over.”

“Okay.” River says, taking off the gloves.

I head upstairs to the first level and up more stairs, to my left and straight into my room, shutting the door behind me. I sit down on my bed and pull my notebook out from under my pillow. I turn to the last page and untape my last razor blade from Loralei. It’s what I need right now. I’ve started thinking about her. My dream is coming back to me. I need this. I drag it across my wrist just like my dream. I need this. I repeat it again. And again and again. I need this.

“Stop that.” I hear my door close. I look up and River is standing there. I didn’t even hear or see him come in.

“No!” I do it again, I need this.

“Stop! What the fuck Violet?!” he grabs my arm and examines my wounds. “These are deep.” His eyes move up and down my bloody arm.

I begin crying. “I miss her so much.”

“Your friend was lost.” he says with a bitter tone.”You carry on.”

“No!” I cry. “I don’t want to!”

“I know how you feel.” He takes his shirt off.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Tying my shirt on your arm, duh.” he ties his shirt on my arm a little tight to stop the bleeding. “I know you’re sinking deeper. Every breath a straining gasp. And I know you’re wishing ‘please death, just make this breath my last’ But there’s life out there for living.” He bites his lip ring again.

“I’m ashamed of myself.” I look down at my hands. “I just want out of this place. This fucking hell I’ve created. I can’t seem to escape.”

“You gotta keep going.” he says. “I give it all, and when I fall, I get up, and I give some more.”

“It’s hard though. Every fucking day I want to die.” I look into his eyes.

“I’ve been through this before, when I lost my dad. Do you know that every 13 minutes, someone out there like me and you end their lives? Because they assumed no one cared. They assumed no one would miss them and that help wasn’t within their reach. But I won’t let you be like them. We’re still breathing. We’re the lucky ones.” He leans over and kisses my forehead.

I hug him “Thank you.”

“Anytime, beautiful.”

Aric walks in.”Woah. Why don’t you have a shirt on?”

I hold up my arm.

“Oh.” Aric frowns. “I’ll go get you one of mine.” he leaves.

 

Once the bleeding stopped, I changed into a long sleeved shirt.

I close my notebook and slide it back under my pillow. River took my razor blade.

I head downstairs to the living room and see River and Aric playing Uno on the couch.

“Skip you. Skip you.” River puts down two blue skip cards.”Uno!” He holds up his last card.

“Shit.” Aric says with half the deck in his hand.

River puts down his last card. A blue 3. “I WIN!!” He yells.

“Fuck.” Aric says.

I laugh. “Where did Mom and Dad go?”

“Grocery store.” Aric says right before a timer goes off. He pulls out his phone. “You rinsing your hair in the bathtub or the sink?”

“The sink because I’m only rinsing the tips.” I head to the second door down the hall to my right. I turn the water on and pull forward all of my hair and begin rinsing the ends. Once I’m finished I squeeze the water out of my hair with my hands and dry it with the dark hand towel we have on the towel rack. Then I notice behind the sink there is a fresh pack of razor blades. Probably my dad’s but mine now. I snatch up the pack really quick and shove it into my back pocket. I look at myself in the mirror and frown. I shouldn’t be doing this…

Part 4

Aric knocks on my open door. “Hey.” he sniffles.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I put my notebook under my pillow and sit up, turning to him.

He shuts my door. “Can I sit down?”

“Of course.”

He does so and continues to ask, “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.” I say.

He breaks down crying. “I think I’m gay.”

I hug him. “Awe, Aric.” I smile. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not.” he continues crying heavily. “Mom and Dad are going to hate me.”

“Shhh.” I hold him close. “I’m here for you.”

I would love to tell him that they will still love and care for him, but my parent are very homophobic and I’m not so sure it’s true..

“I hate everything.” he cries.

“No you don’t, you’re just upset.” I say.

“Violet,”

I let go of him he he tries wiping away his tears but they just keep falling. “I cut.” He whispers.

“Let me see how bad it is.” I say.

He looks at me blankly. “Violet,” he looks back down at his hands.

I take his hand. It’s so cold. I panic as I slowly roll up his sleeve. He doesn’t even fight to keep it down. There’s so much blood and he’s so blank.

“Violet, I’m dying.”

I start crying. “No you’re not!” I grab my phone. “I’m calling 911”

“Stop! I don’t want to go back to the hospital! It’s horrible there!” He begins to cry.

“Please, Aric! I don’t want you to die!”

“But maybe that’s what I want!” he yells.

My phone begins ringing. It’s River. “River!” I cry.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Aric cut really bad and I don’t know what to do!” I put him on speaker.

“Oh God.” he whispers. “Call the ambulance!”

“No, you idiot!” Aric exclaims. “I’m not going back to the hospital!”

“Shut up you fag! Call 911!” River says.

“Don’t call me that!” Aric cries harder.

“Why? It’s not like you’re actually gay.” River chuckles.

“Yes, River! I am gay! So shut the fuck up calling me that.”

“Stop arguing!” I yell.

“Shit. Sorry, man. I didn’t know.” River gets quiet. “Please let Violet call.”

“No.”

“Fine, then I will!” River hangs up.

“No!” Aric jumps up off my bed and runs downstairs.

I run after him. “Aric, where are you going?!”

He runs out the front door and I follow him into the pouring rain, without shoes on. “Aric?!” I yell after him as I follow him down the street. He’s heading for the bridge. I know it. I try to catch up to him but he’s too fast. I lose sight of him for a minute, but eventually I see him sitting on the railing on the side of the bridge. “ARIC!” I scream and run toward him. Once I’m close enough I speak his name.

“Turn your head.” he says.

“No!” I cry. I hear sirens down the street at our house. “I’m going to get you help!”

“No, I’m sorry. Violet,” He stands up and hugs me. “I love you.”

“Aric,” I cry. “Please.”

“Remember, my sister, when I told you that I’d never recover and now remember the cold stormy weather and the promise I made that I’d love you forever, I meant it, I swear that I meant it forever.” he says. “I've been searching for an exit but I'm lost inside my head where I spend every waking moment wishing I was dead. For a few minutes get me away from here. For a few minutes wipe away my tears. For I am lost right now as the ocean deep. I am low my friend and how my heart does sink.” he lets go of me. “It's like there's cancer in my blood, it's like there's water in my lungs. And I can't take another step, please tell me I am not undone. It's like there's fire in my skin, and I'm drowning from within. I can't take another breath, please tell me I am not undone.”

“No, Aric. You’re going to be okay.” I say.

He climbs over the railing.

“I’ll pour my heart out to stop you from leaving! I really need you here! I need you so don’t leave!” I scream.

“I love you, Violet. Goodbye.” he leans back and that’s the last I ever see of my brother.

Part 5

“I just...can’t do this anymore, River. I’m sorry. It’s been a year since Loralei left us and I’m wishing things could just go back to how they used to be.” I cry into my phone.

It’s been six goddamned days since Aric jumped and everyday it seems to get worse. My parents fight all the time now. So, I decided to not leave a note. They’ll find me when they find me I guess. Although I did feel the need to call River. I regretted it the moment he answered.

“I feel so fucking helpless when I can’t be your relief.” he says. “Where are you?”

“On my way to the ocean.”

“Come on, Violet. Please don’t do this.” I hear him begin to cry. River never cries.

“I JUST CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE, RIVER!”

“You gotta know, kid, that it ain’t easy to take on all of your grieving. Yeah, you gotta believe me.” he says.

“Let the ocean take me.” I whisper and hang up. He tried calling back several times, but I didn’t answer. I can’t answer. I soon arrive at a cliff. This is it. I stop and sit with my legs dangling off the edge. Now my lungs are failing and my heart is fading. My mind is taking me so far away I’m dreaming. My mind is reeling, I have shaking hands. Tears are streaming, sorrow calls...with no one here to break my fall.

“Violet!”

I close my eyes and begin to lean forward.

“No!”

I know it’s him. I know by the way his voice cracked once he screamed out “I love you” and threw his arms around me and dragged me away from the edge. I had no energy to fight him off for I had no sleep both nights before. So as he sat down in the grass, safe away from the cliff I lay my head in his lap quietly and close my eyes. “You are all I have left.” I whisper.

He kisses my forehead. “Violet, please stop doing this.” I can barely make out his words from his sobs. “I need you more than you know. I can’t imagine a world without you. Please, Violet, just...stay.”

Part 6

“Are you done packing?” my mother asks. “It’s about time to get going.”

I sigh and look around my room at all the boxes. “Yeah.”

It’s been about five months since Aric jumped and River saved me from the same fate. I’m surprised he didn’t tell my parents about it. Speaking of which, my parents have been officially divorced for a week now. My dad moved to California yesterday with his new girlfriend and her kids. My mom is moving in with my grandmother in Texas so she can take care of her. And I’m moving to Michigan with River and his mom. My mom told me it’s because Grandma’s house is too small for the three of us to live comfortably, but River overheard my mom telling his mom say she “can’t handle my shit anymore”. But it’s whatever, I guess. It kinda sucks though because Massachusetts is the only home I’ve ever known.

“Alright let’s go.” she says.

“What about Aric’s stuff?” I ask.

“Leave it here. Somebody will throw it away, I guess.” she says.

“Are you serious? You’re not going to keep anything of his?”

“No.” she says. “It’s all just trash, really.” she leaves down the stairs.

I pull my phone out and call River. “Is there anything of Aric’s that you want?”

“Uhm, yeah! He was my best friend.” he says. “I’m actually walking up to your front door right now so we can go through his things together.”

“Okay, see you in a second.” I hang up and run downstairs to the front door. I open it to see River standing there like I expected.

He opens the screen door and hugs me. “You doing okay?” he asks.

“Not really but I’m fighting.” I respond.

He lets go of me and heads toward the basement door. I follow him down the stairs. I haven’t been down here since we dyed our hair. I smirk when I notice the blue spots still on the floor.

“I really want his favorite green V-neck.” I say.

“I want his batman jacket that he always wore.” River says.

We go through all of his things andMom is a little upset with us. She says, “You wasted an entire hour on his trash?”

I actually call her a bitch once I finish packing our box of Aric’s things.

“Violet!” she exclaims.

I take my box and carry it to the U-haul truck we rented, tears streaming down my face. River follows me.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. I just hate how much she doesn’t care.” I say.

“Well, in a couple hours we’ll be on our way to Michigan without her and everything will be okay.” he says.

I wipe away tears and smile at him.

He hugs me. “I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thank you. You’re all I have left.” I say as I hug him back.

He kisses my head. “I love you, kid.”

“I love you too but don't call me ‘kid’. Just because you’re 16 and I’m 15 doesn’t mean anything.” I say.

“Eh, whatever, kid.” he chuckles.

I roll my eyes.

After Mom, River, and I finish carrying all the boxes from the house to the truck, Mom drives us to River’s house. Another U-haul truck is parked in front of the driveway.

River’s mom, Amanda, will be driving the U-haul truck while River and I will be in the car all the way to Michigan - about 11 hours.

“Are you ready to go?” Amanda asks once I’m out of Mom’s U-haul.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I hug her. “Thank you for taking me in. I know I’m a lot to deal with.”

“Oh, honey,  don’t say that about yourself. You’ve just been through a lot.” she says.

Mom begins taking boxes out of the back of her U-haul marked ‘Violet’ and putting them into Amanda’s U-haul. I help her. She doesn’t say a word to me. She doesn’t even make eye contact, which is okay with me.

Soon we’re done and off to Michigan.

 

Five hours into the drive my phone dies, so I take my headphones out and look at River who is focused on the road. His medium length brown hair is moved out of his face and his green eyes are shining bright, just light Loralei’s brown ones did all the time.

“Look who’s coming back to reality.” he says once he notices me.

I smile and yawn a bit.

“The seat leans back, you know.” he says.

“I forgot.” I reach my right hand down between the seat and the door and pull a small lever and lean back making the seat go back. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

I close my eyes and try to fall asleep.

“We can pull over if you want.” River says. “Get a motel or whatever. It is getting dark.”

“No, it’s fine.” I say.

“Alright.” he continues to focus on the road.

Eventually I do drift away.

 

“River, are you okay?” I ask.

He sits down on my bed and looks deep into my eyes. “You look so beautiful in the moonlight.”

“Thank you.” I blush a bit, still concerned about the tears in his eyes.

He sniffles. “I love you, Violet.”

“I love you too.”

“No, I mean I’m in love with you.” he says and reaches behind his back.

“River,” I begin.

“And I know you don’t feel the same way.” he pulls out a gun. “I just thought you should know before I leave you.”

“River! Stop!” I scream.

He holds the gun to his head. “I’m sorry, Violet.”

“No, please! You’re all I have left!”

And with one loud boom his brains are on my wall.

I scream, “NO! River!” my heart is beating faster than ever and I can barely see from all the tears in my eyes.

Aric and Loralei walk in smiling. “Violet, it’s your turn.”

 

“Violet.” I hear River’s speak. “Violet, wake up. You’re okay. It’s just a bad dream.”

“No...” I whisper as I slowly come back to reality. “River.” I look over at him. “River! River, you’re okay!”

“Calm down, babydoll. What’s wrong? What happened?” he reaches over and rests his hand on my knee.

“River…” I begin to cry.

“Come on, open up. Tell me all about it.” he tries to comfort me.

“Please don’t leave me.” I cry into my hands.

“What are you talking about?” he asks.

“I saw you…” I continue crying. “You left me!”

“Violet, I’m not going anywhere!” he says. “What the hell did you see that made you so upset?”

“I saw you and you pulled out a gun and before I knew it…” I try wiping away tears. “...you were gone. You told me you were in love with me and then you shot yourself.”

“Oh, shit.” he looks over at me, then back on the road. “Violet, I will never leave you. I mean that, I swear that I mean that forever.” he reaches over and takes my hand.

After about an hour, River breaks the silence. “The sky is unreal tonight.”

“What do you mean?” I look out my window.

“It’s just so clear and the moon is shining crazy bright. It’s so beautiful.” he explains.

“Yeah.” I nod, looking up at the stars.

And with that we continue to the rest of our lives, free from the past.

 

Hopefully.