Nothing can fix you once you shatter into a million pieces, sometimes you just need to find a way to prevent yourself from being “broken”.

 

Aspyn Brooks

 

It all started in a park, somewhere in New York City at three A.M. I ended up not be able to sleep, again. So, just like every night I decided to roll out of bed.  My white sheets clung to my frail body, as my feet met with the soft ground. I stretched my tattoo covered arms above my head and proceeded to grab a random pair of shoes from the mess on my floor. I found a random baseball cap from a hook and, pulled on my favorite red crewneck sweatshirt. In the process, I almost forget to grab my camera on the counter, before shutting the door behind me. I practically knew the route to the unnamed park, like the back of my hand. I had been going there ever since I moved to New York City, three years ago. I passed a few very drunk people as I made my way to the foliage filled square, watching them slur curse words and topple over their own feet. The sounds of the city seemed to diminish, as I approached my destination. The sound of a few stray leaves crunched under my feet as I made my way over to my bench, yes, my bench. I sat down letting out a sigh of relief as I heard the bench creak and settle, beneath me.  I sat on the bench, dim light flickering from an old street lamp above me, as I grabbed the camera around my neck and began getting lost in the world of photography.

 

Tristan Allen

 

I took an occasional drag of my cigarette as I walked down the sidewalk. Having broke the habit years ago, the craving only came in times of stress. My breathing started to return to short, slow breathes, as small beads of sweat ran down my neck. The sounds of endless conversations filled my ears as I passed the local bars, making me grit my teeth. But, looking  down at the freshly bruised and bloodied knuckles actually brought a smile to my face. That bastard deserved it. But, now I was out of a job. I looked both ways before crossing the traffic ridden street to the park, taking a shortcut to my apartment. I filled my lungs with the toxic smoke again, as I let my feet walk aimlessly on the path, kicking a few leaves in my path. I checked my watch, in the dim streetlamp light, 3:35 A.M, as I proceeded to pull the damp, grey beanie further down my head. A small cut above my left eye started to swell, obstructing my sight. Small gusts of wind whipped around my head, causing a few leaves to fall all around me. I turned the slight bend in the path, passing benches and small hedges where I stopped to crush the bud between my boot and the concrete, noticing that the once bright blood had turned crimson and began to dry on my knuckles. I proceeded to try and wipe the memory away on my sleeve. I heard the shutter of a camera. Click. I picked my head up in confusion, as I heard the sound multiple times. Click … Click. I looked around confused, walking in small circles, until I found who caused the sound, sprawled out on a park bench.

 

Aspyn  

 

I made myself comfortable, by lying on my back, my long limbs dangling off the end. Through the camera lens, I began to take interest in the most peculiar of things. Focusing on the canopy the trees created, letting a small amount of the moon slip through. Click. Soon the breeze picked up, moving leaves all around me. Click. Click. Looking back up at the canvas above me, I could hear footsteps coming closer towards me. I sat up slightly, looking down the path. I found that a young guy, was making his way towards me. A small amount of fear built up inside me, not knowing these man's intentions, as I sat up tucking my leg underneath me. Trying to be discreet, I noticed that as he got closer, a grey beanie allowed a small amount of blonde hair to peek out. Also, a hint of silver, on his lip caught the moon light, brightening up his face. Allowing for a soft purple glow to be prominent around one eye. Before, I knew it he strided over and sat down next to me, startling me suddenly. My camera strap became the most interesting thing in the world, at this moment. “ Sorry,” he mumbled. The musky smell of fresh cigarettes surrounded him like an aura. With slight paranoia and confusion, I studied him closely. A hint of stubble covered his chin and down to his neck. Small beads of sweat, stained the back of his beanie a slate color. I noticed that his all black attire was a stark contrast to his porcelain skin. I took in his developing black eye. He stared at the ground with wandering eyes, as he clutched one hand loosely. Taking notice of this opportunity, I let the shutter sound. Click. He looked up with anger prevalent in his eyes, and his jaw was clenched, but soon went slack and his face softened, staring straight into my eyes. “Sorry,” I mumbled. Taking another picture before he could turn those forest green orbs away, from me again, I smiled and turned back around.

 

Tristan

My curiosity got the best of me as I found my legs wandering aimlessly over to the mysterious girl. Her body was sprawled out on the bench, Converse covered feet dangled off the edge, swinging slightly. With the best of my abilities, I could see a mop of blonde hair, peeking out from underneath a black hat, as she lay staring up at the sky. As I approached closer, she took notice of my presence as she sat up, staring at me for a few seconds. I looked down at my shoes, while tugging on my lip causing a cool rush to overcome, my teeth, as the all familiar taste of metal made its way into my mouth. The un-needed attention and possible accusations in her head, made me feel ashamed of myself. But, I surprised both myself and her, by deciding at the last minute to sit down for a while. In the process, I felt the bench settle, causing her to jump slightly. I looked out the corner of my good eye, as she sat intently staring at her camera. I focused back on the ground as I mumbled a quick, “Sorry.” I studied the pebble infested ground, finding myself unconsciously clutching one of my injured hands.  Click. The sound, made me pick my head up, getting my first good look at this stranger. Her grey eyes were filled with a hint of alarm, as her plump pink lips were opened slightly revealing perfect, white teeth. Her worn red jumper’s sleeves hung loosely on her decorated arms, showing me a peak of her black and grey scaled artwork she kept hidden. Her blonde hair, seemed to cascade over her shoulders with frizzy pieces, framing her face. My face, softened even, though I was annoyed by her actions. She whispered a quiet, “Sorry,” as her eyes seemed to regain some light to them. But, before I could turn back around, the all too familiar sound was more prominent as she took a picture of my face. Click. This time, I didn't find myself to be very annoyed, after seeing a small smile come over her face, as she lowered her camera.

 

Aspyn

 

A sense of calmness took over me as I watched a small smirk take over his face, as I lowered my camera for the second time. I turned slightly, to rest my back on the bench, as I placed the device in my lap, staring blankly into the empty park. I crossed my arms around my waist, finally deciding to question this mysterious guy. He sparked an unknown interest in me that needed to be fulfilled. Still staring into the dimly lit park I asked softly, “ What happened to your eye?” After letting the question slip my mouth, insecurity stepped in. It was none of my business to ask a stranger at three something in the morning, what happened to his eye. But, the more I thought about it, the question was so simple why not ask him. Turning to face him, he turned his own body to face mine, allowing his legs to stretch out the length of the bench, touching my thigh slightly, with this worn black boots. Even with one swollen eye, I managed to find a darkness come over those endless green pools. But, he shook his head slightly, closing them to reveal slightly brighter eyes as he questioned, “Why do you have so many tattoos?”, ending the question with a small smirk, present on his face. As soon as those words came out of his mouth, my body tensed slightly. I tugged my sleeves down over my hands, becoming self-conscious. I knew that question was coming, but nobody except the few close people in my life, knew about the meaning behind my tattoos. So, I was not ready to tell a complete stranger, whom I do not even know his name, my meaning behind my tattoos. He must have sensed my apprehension, as he stopped boring his eyes into my head and instead concentrated on the ground and placed his feet down slowly, shaking the bench slightly. Soon, the familiar sound of silence filled my ears as all talking ceased as we both stared into the dimly lit park.

 

Tristan

“I got into a fight.” I whispered still looking into the darkness.

 

Aspyn

My head snapped towards the boy next to me.“What?” I questioned.

 

Tristan

I sighed as I proceeded to stare straight into her soft eyes.  “ I got into a fight.” I said louder. As I looked down at my bruised and bloodied knuckles.

 

Aspyn

“Oh.” I muttered. As I turned my body to face his, I pulled my legs beneath me, slightly hugging my camera. Silence had grown between us again, as the sounds of the city seemed to fade into deafening silence.

 

Tristan

I sat, head full of thoughts as I watched her stare intently at my knuckles.

 

Aspyn

Slowly I adverted my eyes from his knuckles to his eyes. “ I like tattoos.” I whispered. He answered my question so I decided to answer his, as he slowly nodded his head.

 

Tristan

“I started the fight.” I said softly.  I saw her eyes stare deep into mine as she became more interested. “The story’s actually really funny.”, I laughed.  

 

Aspyn

A husky laugh escaped his mouth, making his eyes light up. A small smile made its way onto my face, as I listened intently.

 

Tristan

I fixed the beanie on my head, as I continued my story. “Well, I … I don't know how to put this…” I left off as the smile slowly diminished from my face. This was a lot harder to tell a stranger, then I thought. “ I … I have an anger management problem.” I forced out of my mouth.

 

Aspyn

“Go on.” I whispered, as I played with my shoelaces.

 

Tristan

I took a shaky breath, but continued. “Yeah, so I have a… a problem so I let it get the best of me.” I adverted my eyes from hers as I pulled my sleeves down over my knuckles, causing me to wince, as the scabs scraped off, allowing a small amount of the thick red substance, to flow freely.

 

Aspyn

I watched as he winced in pain, this brought me back to the many times that I experienced my own pain. I let out a deep breath as I began. “ I like tattoos.” I gulped. “I like them a lot, as you can probably see. I chuckled. Continuing I added, “The photos I take, help to inspire future tattoos.”

 

Tristan

Hearing that sweet sound escape from her lips, made me look up at her beaming face.

 

Aspyn

“ But, I have all of these tattoos to cover…. to…” I faltered. I shut my eyes tightly.

 

Tristan

I watched with concern, now filling my body, as I waited for her to continue.

 

Aspyn

I opened my eyes, with tears threatening to spill out, as I stared straight into the strangers beautiful eyes. “I have all of these tattoos to cover the scars.” I bite my lip, as I proceeded to pull up one of my sleeves.

 

Tristan

I looked with curiosity as I saw beautiful art cover her arm. It was full of black and grey roses, small peaceful looking animals and trees that looked like they grew out of her limbs. But, each piece of artwork was patchy and discolored.

 

Aspyn

“Their burns.” I muttered, as I pulled my sleeve back down.

 

Tristan

I didn’t know how to respond, so I adverted my gaze to my lap. I knew those burns weren’t accidental, from the darkness noticeable deep within her grey eyes.  

 

Aspyn

I felt a tear threaten to escape my eyes, as I quickly wiped it away with the side of my hand.

“Sorry.” I whispered. A small laugh escaped from my mouth as I picked my head back up, feeling a sense of relief, “It’s just that I never told anyone the real reasoning behind my tattoos.”

 

Tristan

I was surprised by her answer, as I found myself being drawn to her pleading eyes.

“So, why did you decide to tell me?” I asked with caution, afraid to see her reaction.

 

Aspyn

A concentrated look came over my face, as I sat dumbfounded, trying to think of why I actually told this stranger a deep secret that I kept hidden for all those years.

 

Tristan

I sat quietly, listening to the leaves rustle as I waited for her to continue.

 

Aspyn

“ We are very similar.” I said, almost unable to get the last word out before the boy interrupted.

 

Tristan

“No, we are most definitely not similar.” I said, raising my voice slightly, as I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, the feeling of anger building up inside me.

 

Aspyn

I was not so startled by his ever changing emotions, even for the small amount of time we had known each other. My lips pressed into a thin line, with empty eyes, as I waited for the realization to set into his mind. I could see those thoughts running through his mind, like a movie that was being projected through his eyes.

 

Tristan

I felt the blood rush through my veins, as I saw her give me a straight face. Who was she to tell me that we were similar? We are extremely different. I mean, I just met her tonight but she has a lot deeper issues than me.  I nervously, tugged on my piercing with my teeth, feeling a cold vibration from the metal.. We were different. I do not have problems. I… I. A feeling of terror spread across my face, as I stared right at her. ‘I told you so’, was written all across her face.

 

Aspyn

His eyes shot up to meet mine as I saw the nervousness flash across them. A smirk made its way onto my face, waiting for him to give me credit for my observations.

 

Tristan

“I guess...” I looked down at her camera. “I guess, were similar.” I whispered, continuing to look at her camera, my voice was emotionless. “That’s why you have the camera.” I continued.

 

Aspyn

I leaned over my body and placed my hand softly onto his knee. His gaze soon met mine, as I nodded my head, confirming his last words. His eyes appeared to be empty, except for the streetlamp, reflecting off of them.

 

Tristan

Her warm hand, soothed my nerves as I looked up, scared to commit to this realization. But, little did I know that her next words would stick with me for the rest of my life.

 

Aspyn

“ It’s hard to come to realization that you are broken. That there are cracks in our souls that need mending. But, one things for sure, I have never dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul. You need to find something or even someone to help fill those cracks.”  I ended, letting the words fade into a whisper, as I looked down at my camera.  I looked back into those green pools, and gave his knee one last squeeze, giving him a small smile as I stood up and placed my camera back around my neck before I turned my back on this boy.

 

Tristan

I sat frozen on the bench, taking in those words, as I watched her take a few steps down the path, as leaves stirred all around her, making her hair swirl around her head. Finally I came to realization and stood up, running a few steps to get closer to her and yelled out, “Hey. What's your name?”

 

Aspyn

I turned around, a few feet away from him, re fixing my hat on my head. “Aspyn. Aspyn Brooks.”

 

Tristan

“Thank you.” I breathed out heavily. “Thank you, Aspyn.”  

 

Aspyn

I pointed my hand lazily at him waiting for him to get the hint.

 

Tristan

“Oh.” I bit my lip, before continuing. “Tristan Allen.”

 

Aspyn

A small smile spread across my face as I turned my back. “ Good Morning, Tristan Allen.” I said over my shoulder, as I walked down the path now illuminated by the faint sunrise.

 

Tristan

I watched her walk down the path as I whispered, “Good Morning to you too, Aspyn Brooks.” I came out of the euphoric state as I looked down at my watch and decided to head in the opposite direction.