Growing up Again : : Parenting Ourselves, Parenting our Children

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section 1. Getting started -- Introduction -- ch. 1. Learning to parent our children and ourselves -- ch. 2. The hunger for stimulation, recognition, and certainty -- section. 2. Nurture : the gentle side of care --- ch. 3. Nurture - what it is and why we need it -- Nurture chart -- ch. 4. Assertive care and supportive care : alike but different -- ch. 5. Life examples of the nurture chart -- ch. 6. When love doesn't stick -- ch. 7. Nurturing other adults and ourselves -- section 3. Structure : the firm side of care -- ch. 8. Structure - what it is and why we need it -- Structure chart -- ch. 10. Negotiable and nonnegotiable rules : using rules as structure tools -- ch. 10. The lessons of discipline -- ch. 11. Life examples of the structure chart -- ch. 12. The Nurture/structure highway -- ch. 13. When parents disagree about rules -- ch. 14. Structure, shame, and victim blame -- ch. 15. Growing up again - a story of change -- section 4. Overindulgence : misguided nurture, inadequate structure -- ch. 16. Overindulgence -- ch. 17. The hazards of overindulgence -- ch. 18. Why parents overindulge -- ch. 19. What to do instead of overindulging -- Alternatives to overindulging chart -- section 5. Denial : the glue that keeps us stuck -- ch. 20. How we deny : the four levels of discounting -- Discounting chart -- ch. 21. Examples of the four levels of discounting -- Stop discounting, chart 2 -- ch. 22. Stop the many ways of discounting -- Double-bind discounting, chart 3 -- ch. 23. Problem solving : putting it all together -- Problem-solving worksheet -- section 6. The prenatal and birth experience -- ch. 24. Becoming : the prenatal and birth experience -- section 7. Growing up again and again -- ch. 25. Ages and stages -- Prenatal (becoming : conception to birth -- Stage 1 (being) : birth to six months -- Stage 2 (doing) : six months to eighteen months -- Stage 3 (thinking) : eighteen months to three years -- stage 4 (identity and power) : three years to six years -- Stage 5 (structure) : six years to twelve years -- Stage 6 (identity, sexuality, and separation) : twelve years to nineteen years -- Stage 7 (interdependence) : adults -- Stage 8 (integration) : towards death -- ch. 26. General activities for deliberately growing up again -- section 8. Adoption -- ch. 27. Adoption -- Adoption development chart -- appendix A. Tools for family growth -- Even and uneven parenting -- Using contracts -- Sample rules chart -- Getting free of double binds -- Encouraging responsibility through language -- Supporting spiritual growth through the early development stages -- appendix B. Tools for personal growth -- Developmental affirmations : how to use them with your family and yourself -- Seeing our own shields : a visualization -- Where to go for additional help.
Provides guidance in developing parenting skills, illustrates the effects of parental behavior on children, and presents guidelines for implementing discipline.

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