His Needs, her Needs : : Building an Affair-Proof Marriage

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COMMUNITY REVIEWS

Needs an update for the 21st century submitted by abenson on July 6, 2018, 7:06pm Read as a part of pre-marriage counseling - I thought that the author had a lot of thoughtful and practical ideas, advice, and exercises from someone who spent 20+ years as a marriage counselor. However, the book definitely needs to be updated for the 21st century. Though he prefaces in the beginning that the prevalent emotional needs are unique to each individual, the rest of the chapters describe each emotional need with extreme gender stereotyping & heteronormativity (though I guess this is obvious from the title). For example, the author claims men and women have opposite needs: the top five needs for men are sexual fulfillment, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship, domestic peace and quiet, and admiration, while the top needs for women are financial support, caring for children, intimate conversation, honesty and openness, and affection. I think that otherwise this book has valuable content, and the author could have gotten his point relating to emotional needs across effectively without including gender or sexual preferences in the equation, simply because I think they have little effect on which needs are valued by each partner.

a good read submitted by yufamily on July 16, 2019, 12:27pm Many good advice to be aware of and meeting needs in a marriage.